I woke up in the middle of the night all screwed up in
the head because I still was in shock about everything that happened under my
nose. I had to find the janitor, and get some answers. After everything
happened, I just knew that he would be willing to tell me what all he knew although
he tried to warn me. I was naive, and was not paying close attention to the
signs. I want to make sure that if I wanted to get him back, I had to make sure
that I did everything right, and that would take some strategic planning. So I
go to the sixth floor where the janitor lives on campus, and I see him in his
apartment just relaxing. As I was about to knock on the door, I heard some
voices coming from the other end of the hallway. It was the crew from last
night along with the four people left that were pledging. They told them that
if they were to tell anyone what happened last night, they would drop them,
disown them, and never talk to them again. That was all a part of the ritual
and that they had to abide by it. The more I heard their excuses, the more
pissed off I got with them along with the idiots that subjected themselves to
do it. The crazy thing is I believed they liked what happened to them because
they didn’t even mention a word. I know they told them not to talk to me or
look in my direction. I knocked on the door, and the janitor told me to come
in. What Can I help you with today? Oh let me guess, some things happened last
night. He already knew what I was talking about. I can definitely say that I
told you so. I have been around here for twenty years, and I know how those
guys are. I am a member of the organization but I regret ever making the
decision to try to join this organization. They had been doing things like that
for years, but every time someone tries to turn them in they either disappears
or they’re lives are ruined on the campus. He told me that they were looking at
me for a while. They thought that I would be the perfect puppet to torture
because they sensed that I wanted to be accepted by the campus. He was trying
to warn me not to hang around Stephen because Stephen was the one who hated me
the most! He envied me because I was the most prized possession that Brown
University has ever had in his opinion. I never knew he actually felt this way
about me. This whole time he made me believe that I had a family away from
home. I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles. The janitor told me that he could
help me very little, and that I needed to find a way of getting revenge without
making it obvious because I am already in a negative spotlight thanks to what
Stephen had done to me. He ruined my life. He took everything I had and threw
it in my face. That’s where he fucked up. Never take my kindness as weakness.
It took everything in me not to find him and beat his ass in front of everyone
on campus. That would give him a reason to want to get me kicked off campus. So
I got myself together, and thanked the janitor for allowing me to sit and have
this conversation with him. I went back to my room, and I noticed that my stuff
was missing. There was a note on the door that read, Faggots go down the
hallway where they belong! You are not welcomed in this room. Stephen’s ass
packed my shit, and got me moved to another room down the hallway. Everyone was
walking down the hallway looking at me, calling me names, telling me that I was
not welcomed here, and I wanted to lose my fucking mind! As I walked down to
the next hall way, I started noticing pieces of paper that were flipped over
and the student body was picking them up reading them and looking at me. I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone with
everything coming at me at one time. It said that I was a set out, it was a
photo shopped picture of me with two penises in my mouth and that I was set out
by the fraternities, and that I was this queer who would give it up and do
anything to be accepted. Stephen was walking around campus with this big ass
smirk on his face, and continued walking with his fraternity brothers and they
were all laughing. They spread lies about me, they humiliated me, and all because
I would not kiss ass or give in to their little sexcapades. They put a scandal
out on me. I knew my career was over. I ran back to my room and locked my door.
I was so hurt by everything that was going on that I went into a mental coma.
My mind went blank. All I could do was cry in silence because I was always told
that crying wasn’t for men. We don’t cry. That makes us look bad. I could not
eat, sleep, or think because of everything that had just happened. I was
depressed and in a mental shock. I felt like I had no purpose anymore because
of a lie that they told to make themselves feel better. I found those really
sharp pair of scissors. My only way to take the pain at the moment was to carve
names in my skin with the scissors and cut myself to the point of no return. I
did not have anything to lose. Why not end my life here. All I can remember was
blacking out, and then I woke up in a hospital bed.
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