I arrived back at the location in just enough time to get
some things together for him to show up. To be completely honest with you, my
mind was all over the place. I did not know what to think, what to say, or what
my reaction would be because this was the person who had done everything in his
power to destroy the reputation I once had. I didn’t whether to be mad, sad,
spiteful, forgiving, or even do the right thing. What would you do in this
situation especially when you used to be “friends” with someone for so long! I heard
a noise and I ran into the corner where he couldn’t see. He was yelling, and
making sounds to get the attention of the person I killed earlier. When he
arrived in the room, I couldn’t help but to stare and become angry. All of
those flashbacks of everything that happened from when I first arrived here up
until now played in the back of my mind, but I heard a voice in my head telling
me what I needed to do. Normally you would have a good angel and bad angel on
both shoulders, but in my case there was a devil and a lion. I did know whether
play devil’s advocate and hit him where it hurts or be a lion and kill him with
my bare hands. I had that much hatred built up inside of me anything was
possible at this point. As he looked around in the room, I jumped out and hit
him with a sledgehammer and he fell on the floor. I put him in one of the
wooden chairs in the basement and tied him up so that he couldn’t move. I had
to put a black sack bag over his head because every time I looked at him I
wanted to blow his fucking head off! As
I sat them and wonder what would be my next move, he woke up. I took the bag
off of his face. Well, look at you. You look so scared right now. I thought we
were best friends Stephen. I thought that I could trust you with everything,
but I was naïve to believe everything you said. He started to baffle and
stutter on his words. All he could say was that he had some fucked up ways. He
has always been fucked up in the head. When he first saw me on campus, he knew
that I would be destined for great things. And that made him jealous of me. He
wanted to solidify that all of the things he worked hard for those four years
he was at Brown would be guaranteed his. He did not want to see a freshman take
everything from him that he had worked hard for. I had to let him know that he
did not even know me. He never even gave me a chance to help him get to where
he needed to be. I did not want to be in the spotlight. I have never been the
spotlight type of person. You ruined my life. You took everything I worked hard
for, and basically used it against me. That’s not what friends do! And you know
what, Revenge will definitely be mine! He kept asking please don’t do anything
that you will regret! Oh, this is something I would never forget. I cut him in
the stomach just enough so that he would bleed slowly and not die... I untied
him and laid him on the floor. Blood was gushing on the floor. Everything
that you have ever done to me, you will get back to you. Enjoy life on the
other side motherfucker! I took the edge
of the door and started to slam my hand in the door until it was broken. I was
so used to pain I could not feel anything anymore. I took his hand and started
hitting me repeatedly in the face. I smashed my head into the wall hard enough
to start bleeding. And that’s where I am
now. Looking at him bleed on the floor. I did not care if he died right then
and there. All of the things that he had put me through, I had managed to escape
in my head forever. I got him and his crew back for everything they did to
people on campus for no apparent reason. As I laid on the floor, I dialed 911
and was screaming, Please help me! I was taken hostage and I had to defend
myself. I gave the police officer the address, and they came as soon as
possible. I was in so much “pain” I had to play everything off. The police
asked me questions about what happened and I gave them the answers I knew that
they needed to hear. Later that night,
you could hear that they had a put out a missing person report on the three gentlemen
who had allegedly disappeared that night. In my head I was laughing
hysterically. The police decided to do a heavy investigation on the events that
happened that night. Stephen did not die. He managed to live. I never wanted
him to die, but I want the bastard to suffer like I did. All of that trauma
will live with me forever. The police did an investigation, and found out that
Stephen had ashes in his bedroom of the victims that went missing (evil laughs).
His fingerprints were on the phones, the clothes, and there was a trace of
blood from his tennis shoes that disappeared from his room that night. Yes, it
was me. I set that mother fucker up! I want him to pay for everything he has
ever done. Everything that I stole from his room had DNA on it, and I knew the
right people to get the job done. Don’t ever underestimate an underdog because
we will fuck up your entire life. The trial date was two weeks later, and we
all had to go into the courtroom with some of the officials from the
University. When I got on the stand, I gave one hell of a performance that
would make Viola Davis acting go to dust. I did everything in my power to make
him suffer. He looked at me in my eyes and was so mad that I thought that he
would jump out of the chair and do something to me. There was absolutely
nothing he could do at this point. The judge found him guilty of assaulting me,
and killing three of his friends. He had to serve life in prison without the
possibility of parole. I left the courtroom not feeling bad about what I did. I
may be going to hell for everything that I did, but that one way ticket would
be worth the fire that was about to be put on Stephen’s ass. He could be someone’s
bitch in jail. Everything that he thought he wanted was taken away from him. I
eventually left Brown, and went to seek counseling and help. The only person I talk too on the regular is Marvin. I forgave him for everything, and just decided to give him a clean slate. I knew I was
fucked up in the head, but I was not the fucked up to where I did not know what
I was doing. He brought out the worst possible traits about me that I did not
know I had in me. That beast was something else. Never fuck with a person who
has gone through things. It could be your worse fucking nightmare
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Chapter 6: Redemption
Marvin and I went into my room. He sat me down, and he
just started crying. I asked him what was wrong. He sat down, and explained
that night he knew everything that was going on. He just didn’t say anything
because he did not want them to know he knew what was going on. He was begging
for my forgiveness because he did not say anything. I told him that I can
forgive you, but you have to tell me everything that happened that night. He
explained to me that the night they made everyone consume the alcohol, he had
an extra bottle of vodka (or what had seemed to be vodka) laying around in the
house because he saw them earlier that night. While everyone was consuming the
spiked alcohol, he was chugging what they thought was vodka was actually water.
He then went back to earlier that night when he said he saw them at this
abandoned warehouse. That must be their private meeting spot where no one
knows. Stephen’s naïve ass always thought he could get away with anyway. They
met up at a warehouse to discuss the plan of who they wanted to get with and
why. My entire time while he was telling me everything, I was trying to figure
out why they were handpicking particular people for their organization and
doing all of this crazy shit? As he continued to tell me everything, I had
notice that each individual person they picked had similar background stories
that everyone could relate too. What they were doing was picking people who
were vulnerable at their time of weakness, put them through all of this
trouble, drug them, and treat them as their own sex property for their own
benefit. This was some of the sickest shit I had ever heard. At that time I was
not thinking straight. I was upset, frustrated, and I did not have anywhere to
go. My next question to him was, “What happened the night after I left?” That’s
where it got interesting. He said they had them to give each other filatio,
pass them around from member to member, and doing some of the sickest shit
ever! All he could do was breakdown and cry. I had to comfort him. He did not
know what to do. A lot of these people do not have the strength like I do.
That’s when I knew I had no other choice but to take matters into my own hands.
Marvin told me that he wanted to speak up when all of the rumors went down
about me, but when he saw how everyone was coming at me, he backed down and
went with the crowd. What I needed for him to do was to continue being on their
side while I start to make my rounds. He snuck out of my room, and we pretended
like we never had that conversation. After he left, the University contacted me
and told me that they did not have any liable evidence about everything that
went down and that they had to put this investigate to a screeching halt. I was
over the campus and the police at that point. It was like they didn’t even give
a fuck about my feelings, what I was going through in my mind, or even be considerate
about the circumstances. But it clicked in my head. The whole time Stephen was
setting me up, he was paying off the investigators so that it would cover his
ass being that they all were members of the organization. As I pieced
everything together, that’s when in my head I had to make some bold moves. I
went to the store and got some supplies. I got a butcher knife, a gun, duct
tape, gloves, and operation tools from the hospital, and some all black attire.
I took the notes and the list of names and went missing in action for a couple
of hours. It was time for me to do what
I needed to do. It was later that night when I got up packed my shit, and went
to the warehouse where they were. I had to keep time of when who was who and
when they would arrive. I had to crawl into this tree like I was this James
Bond agent just so that I could hide and no one could see me. There was the
first person on my list. As soon as he stepped out of the car I threw a bag
over his head and knocked him upside the head. I tied his hands and feet
together and drug him to the warehouse and tied him to a chair. He opened his
eyes and saw that it was me. There I was just looking into his eyes. He did not
think that someone like me would pull off such a move like this. I told him
that his friends would be here in a second. He had three minutes to tell me why
I should not slit his fucking throat for what they did to me. He could not say
shit. I never seen a big tall six foot man being so scared in my life. I did
not care. For all the hurt they caused me, it was my turn to get some fucking
satisfaction for a change. It was too easy for me to cut him up. I wanted him
to die instantly. As he was getting ready to move, I tied a rope over his neck,
and tied it to the ceiling. Now who’s the faggot? You are pissing your pants
because you are scared now. You have exactly sixty seconds to tell me why did
you do that to me? All he could do was beg for his life, but it was too late at
that point. All I could hear was the flashback of the humiliation and torture
running through my head like I was a mad crazy person. I kicked the chair from
under him, and watched him hang from the ceiling. It was one of the best
feelings of my life. The person who hurt me can’t hurt anyone else. I wrote a
suicide note like it was him, and I heard a noise. So I ran and hide behind
this abandoned closet that was in the room. I heard those excruciating laughs
that haunted me daily. It was the crew and my supposed pledge class brothers
walking in and looking so shocked. OMG! What the fuck man? What do we do? He
killed himself. Why did he have to kill himself? He had so much to live for. Those
other two motherfuckers were so oblivious to the matter, they did not even
realize what went down. As one turned his head, I grabbed the other one and
drug him in the closet. I told him if he yelled, I would snap his fucking neck!
There was only one guy left in the warehouse. He was looking for his friend. I
was not letting him go that easily. I tied him up and put a bag over his head.
I told him if he moved, he was good for dead. I still felt pain from
everything. I had to do what I had to do. As the other guy was walking through
the warehouse. Ugh bruh, don’t scare me like that. Bring your ass out. We don’t
have time to be playing with you. We have to fuck with the new guys. I wanted
to wait and let temptation get to him, but I was too upset to care. I took a
crow bar and hit him upside the head with it. I tied him to a chair and waited
for him wake up. I poured some water on him, and told him to watch up bitch! It
is time to play. I want to play a game of sixty seconds. He had sixty seconds
to tell me everything I needed to know or else we started cutting into body
parts. I asked him why they felt like they need to sexually abuse people who
were vulnerable. Fucking with people at their weakest point in life is not
cool. He tells me he doesn’t know what I am talking about. I cut his ear off.
He is screaming, and I am loving every second of it. Let’s try this shit again.
Why did you need to lie on me just to cover your own ass? He told me that he
was envious of me. Why would you be envious of me when you don’t know me. He couldn’t give me a straight answer! I
started to cut into his legs. I have something even better. Let’s do this since
you like to sexually abuse people. I turned him over and ripped those pants
off. There was a long pole that laying in the warehouse. You have one more try,
and that’s it. Why would drug someone and rape them? It felt good to hurt
people because I was hurt. I cried. He didn’t realized how you doing that could
hurt someone. I took the pole and I raped him with it like he did those guys
that night. After I got done with the torture I made sure that it was shoved
through his posterior out through his mouth. He died on instantly. Now you know
what it is like to feel pain like that bitch! You just don’t understand how it
felt to be at peace because I know the people who hurt the people around me
could not hurt me anymore. I took the bodies, and burned them to ashes. There’s
was still one unfinished thing I needed to do. There was one person who I
needed to find and talk too. You guessed it. Stephen’s ass! But I had a nice
trick for him. I managed to sneak into his room, and I grabbed some items I
knew that was important. I grabbed his cell phone, bed sheets, etc. for my own
personal use. All I needed was something to help me out with this master plan I
had running through my mind. After I got everything done, I managed to put
everything back in place, and leave the building where he was staying. I texted
him from one of the guys’ phone and said meet me at the warehouse tomorrow
night at around two in the morning. He didn’t think nothing of it. He said he
would be there front and center. All he wanted to know was everything ok? I
texted back and said no. I need your help with something. It is about to go
down! Once the message was sent, I knew this was going to be something to be
ready for. I had to face him, and tell
him how I felt. It was clear that we went from friends to enemies just that
quick. After I had got rid of the bodies, I went back to the undisclosed
location just so get ready for what was about to happen. Karma is a
motherfucker and it was about to get Stephen in ways he would least expect it.
Chapter 5: Betrayal, Deceit, Awaken the Beast
I woke up in the hospital bed still out of my mind. The
doctor told me that I lost a lot of blood and that I could have died the way I
cut the skin off of my body. That’s all I heard her say. My mind was not in a
good place. All of these flashbacks were in my head of everything that ever
happened to me then and now. All I could think was, why all of this had to
happen to me. All I ever wanted to do was to make a better life for myself
because not one person could give me the things I wanted. I had self-esteem
issues, I had family issues, and I had everything thrown at me at one time.
When I finally get myself off of the ground, this is the shit that happens to
me! A man from a broken family who was picked on all of his life. As the doctor
was talking, she kept talking and I eventually checked back into reality. She
asked me if I had any parents who could come and check me out. To be honest
with you, I was lying in the beginning. I lived in an abused home for years so
when I turned 18 I was on my own. I don’t have anyone to back me. I had to tell
her the truth so I let her in on my family situation. They would not allow me
to leave the hospital bed and they put me on suicide watch so that nothing
would happen. I was not going to try to harm myself again. I did that enough.
Now I am just mad as hell! Even if I were to come forward with this story, no
one will ever believe me because of the seeds they planted on campus. That’s
where I became enraged. I started throwing things, screaming, yelling, and I
lost it. I had to do something. I don’t know how I am going to do this but I
cannot let these bastards get away with what they did. They think they broke me
down, when in reality they just awakened a monster they did not know existed.
So I did what I was told to do in order be released. What people did not know
was as I was sitting in this hospital bed being monitored. As I laying there, I
took a sheet a paper and wrote everyone involved and took mental notes of
everything I could remember that night. I was released three days after that
and I had to wait for further instructions regarding what the institution was
going to do about my situation. A week went by, and the campus president told
me that they would continue to investigate the matter that went down prior to
me being admitted into the hospital. I had to go to counseling, take this
ridiculous ass medicine, and attend anger management. I get everything else I
had to do but I did not feel the need to take medicine. I am not crazy. I am
just mad as hell! I haven’t lost my mind like I should have! I had to figure
out what was the next step was since I had to be low key about everything now
that I am a target. I was told I could return to class, and the university sent
out an email regarding bullying and how it would not be tolerated at Brown
University. That definitely did not make me feel better about anything that
went on this entire month. I walked into the classroom, and everyone sat with
their head down not. The room was so silent you could hear a rat piss on cotton
as the old country folks would say! I didn’t have words for my classmates. I
was just there to get my education and I kept it moving. I had to be strong. I
could not let the world know that I felt defeated. I walked with my head high,
and when I walked down the hallway, there was the main thing that put fuel to
my fire. It was Stephen ass looking down at me with this smirk on his face. My
initial thought was to ram him down into the restroom and beat his ass on site!
He walks up to me, and says how are you feeling now? I told you not to fuck
with me! You were about to try rat us out to the university, but you forgot one
thing. The President of this University is a member of our organization. We are
surrounded by people everywhere on campus who are a part of this organization. All
I could do was laugh. I told him I didn’t give a fuck who was what, but I don’t
have to turn you in to get you to confess. Believe me. You think you know me
because of what I told you, but you really don’t know me that well. You better
watch your back. He looked at me, laughed, and his little crew came out behind
him and they all looked at me. Laughing hysterically, they all were like, no
one will believe you. You are just the faggot that got passed around the
campus. All you had to do was do what we say and this wouldn’t have never
happened. They all disappeared. I was heated! I knew I had to take matters into
my own hands. So I went into my room, but when I was walking up the stairs I
did notice something. There was someone sitting beside my doorstep. His face
looked familiar. He said my name. Oh sorry, I didn’t tell you my name. I am
still mad I wasn’t thinking straight. Just call me J for now. That’s all I want
you to know. I cannot give my identity away because of everything that
transpired this year. Back to the story. He said my name, and I looked. I was
in shock. He said I know you are upset with me too, but please I promise you
that it was definitely not what you think it was with me. It was Marvin. Marvin
was always the one who was observant and never said much of anything. He always
had my back through everything. I was more pissed off with him because he never
said anything to me ever again after the night I had left the house. He told me
that he to tell me something that could be of some help. So we went into my
room, and we closed the door. I did not know what to expect, but I can assure
you I need all of the help that I can get at this point. These bastards had to
go down one way or another. I was determined to do anything to make sure I took
all of them down. The main person I wanted the most was Stephen! They have
fucked with the right student. I am not going down without a fight. Game on
Bitches!
Chapter 4: The Scandal
I woke up in the middle of the night all screwed up in
the head because I still was in shock about everything that happened under my
nose. I had to find the janitor, and get some answers. After everything
happened, I just knew that he would be willing to tell me what all he knew although
he tried to warn me. I was naive, and was not paying close attention to the
signs. I want to make sure that if I wanted to get him back, I had to make sure
that I did everything right, and that would take some strategic planning. So I
go to the sixth floor where the janitor lives on campus, and I see him in his
apartment just relaxing. As I was about to knock on the door, I heard some
voices coming from the other end of the hallway. It was the crew from last
night along with the four people left that were pledging. They told them that
if they were to tell anyone what happened last night, they would drop them,
disown them, and never talk to them again. That was all a part of the ritual
and that they had to abide by it. The more I heard their excuses, the more
pissed off I got with them along with the idiots that subjected themselves to
do it. The crazy thing is I believed they liked what happened to them because
they didn’t even mention a word. I know they told them not to talk to me or
look in my direction. I knocked on the door, and the janitor told me to come
in. What Can I help you with today? Oh let me guess, some things happened last
night. He already knew what I was talking about. I can definitely say that I
told you so. I have been around here for twenty years, and I know how those
guys are. I am a member of the organization but I regret ever making the
decision to try to join this organization. They had been doing things like that
for years, but every time someone tries to turn them in they either disappears
or they’re lives are ruined on the campus. He told me that they were looking at
me for a while. They thought that I would be the perfect puppet to torture
because they sensed that I wanted to be accepted by the campus. He was trying
to warn me not to hang around Stephen because Stephen was the one who hated me
the most! He envied me because I was the most prized possession that Brown
University has ever had in his opinion. I never knew he actually felt this way
about me. This whole time he made me believe that I had a family away from
home. I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles. The janitor told me that he could
help me very little, and that I needed to find a way of getting revenge without
making it obvious because I am already in a negative spotlight thanks to what
Stephen had done to me. He ruined my life. He took everything I had and threw
it in my face. That’s where he fucked up. Never take my kindness as weakness.
It took everything in me not to find him and beat his ass in front of everyone
on campus. That would give him a reason to want to get me kicked off campus. So
I got myself together, and thanked the janitor for allowing me to sit and have
this conversation with him. I went back to my room, and I noticed that my stuff
was missing. There was a note on the door that read, Faggots go down the
hallway where they belong! You are not welcomed in this room. Stephen’s ass
packed my shit, and got me moved to another room down the hallway. Everyone was
walking down the hallway looking at me, calling me names, telling me that I was
not welcomed here, and I wanted to lose my fucking mind! As I walked down to
the next hall way, I started noticing pieces of paper that were flipped over
and the student body was picking them up reading them and looking at me. I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone with
everything coming at me at one time. It said that I was a set out, it was a
photo shopped picture of me with two penises in my mouth and that I was set out
by the fraternities, and that I was this queer who would give it up and do
anything to be accepted. Stephen was walking around campus with this big ass
smirk on his face, and continued walking with his fraternity brothers and they
were all laughing. They spread lies about me, they humiliated me, and all because
I would not kiss ass or give in to their little sexcapades. They put a scandal
out on me. I knew my career was over. I ran back to my room and locked my door.
I was so hurt by everything that was going on that I went into a mental coma.
My mind went blank. All I could do was cry in silence because I was always told
that crying wasn’t for men. We don’t cry. That makes us look bad. I could not
eat, sleep, or think because of everything that had just happened. I was
depressed and in a mental shock. I felt like I had no purpose anymore because
of a lie that they told to make themselves feel better. I found those really
sharp pair of scissors. My only way to take the pain at the moment was to carve
names in my skin with the scissors and cut myself to the point of no return. I
did not have anything to lose. Why not end my life here. All I can remember was
blacking out, and then I woke up in a hospital bed.
Chapter 3: The Adventure
Here I am. I feel trapped. I am with these people I
don’t know. I cannot be out, I cannot be on social media, I can only go to
class, and be with these people. It has been an entire week, and I feel like I
don’t really know them. They have yet to try to get to know me, and I damn sure
don’t want to get to know them like that, but I knew eventually I would have to
work with them to reach this common goal. So I started to chip in, and even give
my input on things, and I believe we all manage to bond over the common factor
that we have experienced trauma in our lives. And from here on, Marvin, Leon,
Ashton, Marley, Maverick, Deon, Ken, Johnny, and Lemuel became the Brothers I
never wanted (laughing out loud.) We started to do everything together, and as
crazy as it sounds, we grew a tight bond. We were all that we had. The sun went down the next night, and we were
all just hanging in Marley’s room, and we were preparing for what to expect in
the future. We hear my phone go off, and it was Stephen. He asked me to tell
the rest of them to meet him at a disclosed location in ten minutes. So we
gathered our things, and off we went. Stephen had been gone out of our room,
and he doesn’t really speak anymore ever since this experience started. I get
it, but I am thinking our friendship should be way above all of this before
anything. We get to the location, and he was yelling, keep your asses in the
car. I never seen Stephen act this way but I sucked it up and did what I was
told. We were taken into this dark alley, and all I could hear was this tapping
noise, and people moving around. In my head, I am thinking about everything the
janitor was telling me, but then I had an epiphany. “Nothing can go wrong, and
all of this is for show.” So I ran with it. Deon was sitting beside me biting
his nails, Johnny looked like he wanted to piss in his pants, and Lemuel was
acting all tough, while the rest were just following what everyone else was
doing at the moment. Next thing I know, all I hear is, bitches get in a
motherfucking straight line right now! I knew things were about to get real
that night. They lined us up, and they told us what we needed to know, you know
the formalities of it all but I did notice something. In the background, I saw
some of the members with lubricants, condoms, alcohol, and a big bag that
looked super heavy. So after all of that was said and done, we all got back in
the car, and I asked the others did they notice what I had noticed. They all
told me no and that I was over exaggerating. We needed to get down to business
to make sure that everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I did not
take anything personal, and I moved on. Ok, I don’t want to keep talking about
this so let’s skip to the point. So weeks past, and everything is almost said
and done. I was so exhausted with all of the shit we had to do, but I was
determined to get done with everything. At this point, it was down to five
people, and everyone was at each other’s’ throats. I got a text message from
Stephen telling me that he never stopped being my friend, but he had to do what
he to do handle his business. My whole thing with it is I understand you have
to be a drill sergeant to make sure we got everything we needed; however, as a
friend, he should have encouraged, motivated, and ask me how I was doing when
everything was said and done. So, I know you are wondering if I was pissed off.
Hell Yes! This nigga was supposed to be there for me more ways than one, but he
left me out to dry. So at this point, our friendship was rocky. I wanted to
tell him a piece of my mind when everything was said and done. But back to the
message. He also mentioned to me that everything that will go on tonight will
have a meaning behind it, and you will have to tough it out and do what
everyone tells you to do! What the hell were they going to have us doing that
makes this night so damn special? I grabbed my things and went to class. As I
was walking down the strip to go into the building, I did notice a lot of
things going on in my surroundings. Everyone was smirking, laughing, and I
heard some of the other people on campus whispering and looking at me. I didn’t
think anything of it because I knew with the positions I wanted to run for they
probably heard about all of the good things that I did on the campus behalf. I
walked into the classroom, and there goes Stephen sitting on the opposite end
of the classroom. He would not look my way, speak to me, or even throw a
signal. I understand we could not really hang out at the moment, but he did at
least sit beside me, and make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Class started and I noticed that he was texting the entire time that the
professor was lecturing. Class ended, and he quickly got up and ran out of the
classroom before I could even approach him. He left his phone on the desk, and
I picked it up, and was about to take it to him. His phone buzzed, it was
unlocked, and it had a text message with the name “Drill it in Em”. Stephen had
been acting weird all day, and I did not know what was going on in his mind. I
was wondering if someone was bothering him, picking with him, or telling him
things that makes him question my loyalty to him. So I opened the message. The
message was talking about it is on and popping for tonight. We are about to
make an example out of some people, and that they will never embarrass us or
make us look bad again. Stephen pops up in the classroom and I told him that
you dropped your phone. He snatches it from me, and he walks off upset! This
was some strange shit, and it bothered me for the rest of the day. So the night
hits once again, and my mind is boggled at the fact that he was acting strange
towards me of all people. I grabbed my things, and I met up with the other
guys. They were already there talking, and when I came into the room they were
silent. I spoke. No one said a thing. So we get prepared to go into the room.
They told us to sit down and relax. They poured us alcohol, and that they just
wanted to get to know us. At first we were hesitant to do anything being that
it has been weeks and all they wanted to do was torture us for everything!
Eventually we did drink. As the drinks started to flow, everyone let their
guard down. The only thing though was I know you are supposed to feel a
tingling sensation when you are drinking alcohol but I did notice that we all
were not in our right mind. We were talking for a good hour until we heard a
door open. As the door opened, we see a group of twelve other guys walk in with
a bag. They all were laughing, looking around, and they took something out of
the bag. They told us to stand up, and take a deep breath. I saw a glimpse of
Stephen in the background laughing hysterically as if he set up the perfect
plan. They were all surrounding us, licking their lips, and walking behind us.
I knew this would not go as well as the night went on. Three of the guys walked
up to one of my brothers and told him, I hear you like it really slow. My
facial expression is like what the fuck is going on in here? Is this normal?
Why are they doing this? So he continues to grope behind him, and he was
already drunk so he gave in. They started kissing. I am in just awe, and I
could not deal with the things I am seeing right now. I am drunk but not to the
point where I don’t know what the hell is going on in this room. They take him
to the back room and left the rest of us in the living room. They tell the
other three that they need to strip down, and if they wanted to be in this
circle, they had to touch each other, and do everything they told them to do.
It was like some sadistic, crazy, psychopathic shit going on in this house. All
I could do was just sit and wonder what I got myself into. Then Stephen walks
in looking all upset and mad. I told you all I could get him to do it. Now he
is in our neck of the woods now. There’s no one to help the school’s golden
child. He did not look at me the same. Just when I thought I had a friend that
understood me, I get hurt once again. He then proceeds to tell me that he lured
me in to get to know me, bring me around the circle, get me to join his
organization, and to sabotage my career unless I was willing to do a favor. He
told me in order to keep my dignity and respect that I had to sleep with everyone
in the room that night including the people that was going through this
experience with me. I did not think that Stephen would ever do something like
that because he was considered the one who did everyone right and by the book!
Then it dawned on me with everything that was going on. He had put all of my
business on Front Street in front of the entire campus, and everyone kept
looking at me crazy. He took everything
I ever told him, and used it against my will without me evening knowing what
was going on. I politely got my things and told him that he could go fuck
himself if he thinks I am about to do this gay shit just to keep my dignity in
check. I am not down with that shit! I do not have a problem with the
homosexual lifestyle; however, this is just something I would never allow
myself to do! I left the house, and got in my car. As I took the uber down the
street back to campus, all I could do was just cry. All I ever wanted to do was
leave the life that I had behind me at home, and start over. I never understood
why people could be so harsh in the world. It made me angry, it made me
depressed, it made me emotional, and it definitely made me rethink ever coming
to this school. When I got back to the room, I got a text message from Stephen
saying, if you tell anyone, your career is over. You might as well pack your
bags and go the fuck home! I promise you, you don’t want these problems. In the
back of my head, I wanted to blast them for what they were doing to those boys.
They don’t even know what was going on because they were drugged through
consuming those large amounts of alcohol. I am pretty sure that they would wake
up the next day not remembering a damn thing that happened. I took a shower,
and I went to bed confused. As I laid in the bed, I continued to have those
flashbacks about everything that went on in the house that night. And the fact
that I was put in a fucked up situation like that really let me know I couldn’t
trust people. I went from sad to pissed off instantly. I knew that something had
to happen. They had to go down, but how? That’s when it clicked that the
janitor was trying to warn me about everything. But I wonder what else he knows
about these motherfuckers here on campus!
Chapter 2: The Rush Chronicles
It was that time of the week where you see everyone
trying to figure out who they are, what they wanted to be a part of, and
starting to pursue their dreams of trying to join an organization. I never had
any interest in any of this because of the shit you see on television, and the
stories you hear about the stupid things people endure during pledging these
organizations; however, if Stephen believes this would make a great fit for me,
then I guess it was worth giving it a shot! Stephen called me and asked me if I
needed anything, and to make sure that I read over some information to prepare
for the upcoming meeting that was supposed to be happening the following day.
Yes, I am good bro. We will be ok! I did not know what to expect, I did not
know what I had in store for me, but I told myself that I would give it my best
shot. After talking to Stephen, I started walking down the hallway to get some
fresh air since I was cooped up in a room reading over information. As I was
walking, there was this guy walking down the hallway. He was a janitor cleaning
the dormitory after hours, and he saw that I had my all black suit in a bag in
my hands. He looked strange, and he proceeded to stop me. Are you going to one
Lambda Kappa Theta’s event tomorrow? Of
course I said no! Discretion is the key. I said no sir, why do you say that?
You are a bright person but I want to let you in on a little secret… Whatever
you do, Please DON’T GO! These group of men are malicious! They try to lure you
in, give you this nice pep talk, and they make you their bitches during
pledging season. A lot of underhanded things go on with these organizations
here, and no one dares to step to them because of the consequences that could
happen. In the back of my head, I am thinking, why is he telling me this? This
cannot be true whatsoever. I know Stephen well enough to know that he would not
put me in any danger. I damn sure won’t be anyone’s bitch because I was not
raised to be a bitch or even allow someone to take advantage of me like that!
But I did keep all of this information in my head. Oh and young man, be careful
with this Stephen Heart guy! He is the most vindictive of them all. No one
likes him. If you don’t believe me, you will figure it out soon enough. That’s
when I got so heated. I am the loyal type of friend to where if I am riding for
you, I don’t allow people to talk about you to me. I told the man that he was
lying. And he said, Ok, you will see in due time. And when it is too late, No
one will believe anything that you have to say because I tried to warn you! You
will be back. But you better catch it before it is too late. So I ran back
upstairs, and slammed my door. I had to call Stephen, and ask for him to come
back to the room. I needed to talk to him face to face. He came back upstairs,
and sat on my bed. What is it? He asked. I told him to look at me in the face,
homie to homie. If you were to ever do anything bad or crazy, you would tell me
right? He said, yes! I would. You are my best friend. Why wouldn’t I? If I were
in danger, you would try to stop it right? He answered again, yes! What the
fuck is wrong with you? Oh nothing! I did not want to tell him what the janitor
was saying about him, and since I didn’t really know him or anyone else I
trusted him. He talked about how pledging started tomorrow night, and I am
looking at him like but didn’t you say that this rush or informational was
tomorrow? He told me how things run a little differently from us and that I was
chosen already by his brothers the night I met with them. He told me that I
could not tell anyone what was going on or it was a wrap for me. I’m thinking,
ok, this is a part of this so I am going to roll with it. So I dropped the
conversation, and we both went to bed. The next day, I got in my car. And went
to the mall. Everyone from campus was out doing their usual shopping, and I did
notice some people walking around just staring at me as I was walking to pick
up some things I needed for that night. My phone goes off, and it was text from
a random number telling me to be on time tonight to the meeting, and bring a
change of clothes afterwards. You will
need a pair of black jeans, and a white t-shirt with some black tennis shoes.
Luckily I was already in the mall so I just grabbed some stuff and went back to
my room. I never thought it would take this much time, energy, and dedication
be a part of something like this. After all of this was said and done, I took a
nap to prepare for what was in store for that night. The sun went down, and it
was getting to crunch time. I was nervous, excited, conflicted, and all over
the place. I could not help but to think about what the janitor told me, and
what Stephen told me the night before. I had to take a deep breath, and tell
myself that no matter what happens, I know that god will have me covered. Man,
god needed me throughout this entire experience because the things that
happened later just took me a little over the edge. But that’s a little later
down the line. So I get into this big room, and I see there’s about eighty other
people waiting to be seated in this section where it was closed off from
campus. I had to sign in on this form, and there were these men walking to the
door looking like pit bulls! I did not get a greeting, they didn’t crack a
smile, and they were looking at me like I was the scum of the earth. I said hey
how are you? And they told me to find a seat and shut my mouth. I am over like
looking like, who the fuck are you talking too? I am trying to show
hospitality. Stephen had to grab me before I said anything because he knows my
mouth can get reckless. He had to explain to me that this was about business
and don’t take anything that’s going on personal! I’m looking at him and
telling him if you want anyone to support or join your “business”, you don’t
try to run them off by doing stupid shit like this. He had to calm me down, and
I bit my tongue only for Stephen. As we go in the room, they had us sitting.
The other guys in the room were all shaking, nervous, and just all over the
place. I was looking around confused. We were all sitting in a position like we
were in the military. You are in this room. You are told when to speak, move,
and raise your hand. One guy got so nervous he started to vomit everywhere. As
the night went on, they explained to us what the organization was about, how
much money it would cost, the dangers of pledging, etc…. I can say that they
had a lot of great philanthropy and I loved some of the programs they had. The
meeting lasted for about three hours, and they were just giving everything to
us at one time. So as the meeting closes, I walked outside to get ready to head
back to my room. They told us it would be a month before we heard anything, so
I assumed that this was over. Stephen stops me, and told me you stay here. Go
to the back room, and wait for further instructions. I am looking like what the
hell is going on? So I went to the back of this room, and I saw nine other
people in the room. Of course I did not speak because I don’t know these
Negros! I sat in my corner, and I kept to myself. As the members came in, they
asked me to sit with everyone else, and I was hesitant but I eventually sat
with them. They explained to us what to expect these next couple of weeks. They
gave the rules, they told us what to have, and gave us some information.
Everything was cool but I did notice how they all were licking their lips,
checking out the scene, and they were whispering something, but I could not
hear anything. Stephen was looking at me, and he whispered to me, I have faith
in you. I got you. You got this! This is a test for the next couple of
weeks. Please try to get along with
these men because these are the other nine people you will have to deal with
for the next couple of weeks. I did not
think nothing of it. I was very hesitant because I don’t trust people like
that.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
The Beast in Me: Chapter One: The Beginning
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