Enraged! Chapter 8

Chapter 8: A Soul Broken 

I finally woke up from being in a coma. They told me the bullet missed my brain by a small inch. It could’ve killed me. Don’t they get that I wanted to die. I’m living in hell and I couldn’t get out of it. I’m sure you’re thinking that Im one fucked up individual and that I needed to be locked away. But I’m already locked away In my mind. I’m mentally checked out from the world because it doesn’t have anything to offer me. Nothing but pain & suffering. God had created me to be this walking person that was meant to only be tormented? That happily ever after shit only works for other people. But hey, who am I to say anything? I sat in that bed and thought of ways to escape this hell. They watched me so closely to where I couldn’t move. They sent the pastor in to pray over me but I told him to get the fuck out of my room because pastors couldn’t tell me shit after took the only thing sacred from me. I wasn’t even a man anymore.They just don’t know what it is like to feel like the pride and spirit being taken from you. So the god he claimed he wanted to send in my heart died that moment when i felt like he didn’t protect me.  I shut down and didn’t talk to anyone for months! I had to leave that hospital room and be checked into a psychiatrist home. Hell i know i wasn’t crazy! I was fucking angry! I was enraged at life! Until you have walked in my shoes you can’t tell me how to feel. Every time someone snaps the first thing they say is that he’s crazy! Hell No! What’s crazy is me believing that i could trust and be a. Good citizen and getting fucked over. And no one had the nerve to give me a genuine apology! But we can do that anymore. I will forever be trapped in this world of frustration and pain. I will forever live in this world , in this home broken. And no can ever save me from the hell im living in my own mind. I will never be able to forgive those people and i hope they all rot in hell with me. Because if I could kill them all I would because the world owes me every fucking bit of an apology.  Eventually my body was alive but my soul was dead. And that’s how I ended up here in this place. Never get to the point to where I am because being enraged is a full time job.