Enraged! Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Taken For Granted

It has been a good six weeks of sessions and this marks my final day of seeing this counselor. I’m relieved that I can finally move on with my life.  Honestly, she didn’t teach me a damn thing but how to hold it in. I’ve told most of the things I wanted her to know hoping she would leave me alone. I’m literally drained from being in this small room, sitting on this small couch, and talking to her small minded ass about big things. I hope the judge can see that I’m not crazy. Everyone thought i had lost my mind because I had a big altercation at work where I blacked out. I didn’t want it to go that far and they claimed I wasn’t acting like myself. He sued me and we had to go to court. And boom, this is how I ended up here with all of you listening and judging my life and why I’m pissed off with the world. I really don’t know where this will take but I do know that this will forever haunt me for the rest of my life. I’m walking back through these doors and as I walk in, I see all of these chairs in the room. What is really going? This counselor says today is a big intervention. I don’t need a fucking intervention. I am perfectly fine. Has she ever heard of hurt people hurt people? That’s what it was? As I’m sitting here waiting on this intervention, I see people walking in. This bitch brought everyone who has managed to fuck me over in one room. Do you know what this shit can do to a person? I felt chills going down my body. I felt like I could beat the shit out of all of them because of the way they hurt me. I wish this bitch would stop digging in my past because I didn’t want to relive this shit again! I’ve done enough over the years to put that behind. She proceeds to say in order for me to get out of here, I had to confront everyone in this room. I had to sit there and listen to everyone feed this woman bullshit. Reverse psychology is a motherfucker and today I wasn’t having it. I went off on everyone in that room. They didn’t deserve any type of apology yet along be in the same room as me. My ex is a slut that can’t keep her panties dry, me ex best friend is a meth taking, disloyal faggot who would do anything for money & power, my mom was a just a lying ass trifling deadbeat that was using me for child support checks, free meals and never wanted me to succeed,  I see the bastard who took advantage of me because i didn’t have my father in my life and you mean to tell me that I’m the fucked up person in this room? Clearly you don’t know me well enough. I am the victim in this matter. I am the one who has to pick up the motherfucking pieces that were shattered from my childhood until now.  She didn’t know what it was like to be without food, a home and job because you had to sleep with people to get by! On top of that, i have to deal with all of this while being black! That’s a everyday struggle. I’m sick of all of this shit. I am fucking done. If no one wants to listen to me then I’ll take matters into my own hands! I stormed out of that room mad as hell! I just needed a release. I managed to drink up 6 bottles of vodka, smoke a 10 pound bag of weed, shoot some pool and allow myself to get it together. I still can’t believe this bitch would set me up like that. I had my friends in mind telling me that I needed to get her for what she did to me! She damaged me even more. I actually thought she would bring out the good in me. Instead , she made my bad become worse! I’m still not crazy though. I just want revenge. I want everyone to feel the pain I felt when they did what they did to me! Those friends in my mind were telling me to take back what was mine. I don’t have any compassion, love, or relief. And they won’t either!