Here I am. I feel trapped. I am with these people I
don’t know. I cannot be out, I cannot be on social media, I can only go to
class, and be with these people. It has been an entire week, and I feel like I
don’t really know them. They have yet to try to get to know me, and I damn sure
don’t want to get to know them like that, but I knew eventually I would have to
work with them to reach this common goal. So I started to chip in, and even give
my input on things, and I believe we all manage to bond over the common factor
that we have experienced trauma in our lives. And from here on, Marvin, Leon,
Ashton, Marley, Maverick, Deon, Ken, Johnny, and Lemuel became the Brothers I
never wanted (laughing out loud.) We started to do everything together, and as
crazy as it sounds, we grew a tight bond. We were all that we had. The sun went down the next night, and we were
all just hanging in Marley’s room, and we were preparing for what to expect in
the future. We hear my phone go off, and it was Stephen. He asked me to tell
the rest of them to meet him at a disclosed location in ten minutes. So we
gathered our things, and off we went. Stephen had been gone out of our room,
and he doesn’t really speak anymore ever since this experience started. I get
it, but I am thinking our friendship should be way above all of this before
anything. We get to the location, and he was yelling, keep your asses in the
car. I never seen Stephen act this way but I sucked it up and did what I was
told. We were taken into this dark alley, and all I could hear was this tapping
noise, and people moving around. In my head, I am thinking about everything the
janitor was telling me, but then I had an epiphany. “Nothing can go wrong, and
all of this is for show.” So I ran with it. Deon was sitting beside me biting
his nails, Johnny looked like he wanted to piss in his pants, and Lemuel was
acting all tough, while the rest were just following what everyone else was
doing at the moment. Next thing I know, all I hear is, bitches get in a
motherfucking straight line right now! I knew things were about to get real
that night. They lined us up, and they told us what we needed to know, you know
the formalities of it all but I did notice something. In the background, I saw
some of the members with lubricants, condoms, alcohol, and a big bag that
looked super heavy. So after all of that was said and done, we all got back in
the car, and I asked the others did they notice what I had noticed. They all
told me no and that I was over exaggerating. We needed to get down to business
to make sure that everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I did not
take anything personal, and I moved on. Ok, I don’t want to keep talking about
this so let’s skip to the point. So weeks past, and everything is almost said
and done. I was so exhausted with all of the shit we had to do, but I was
determined to get done with everything. At this point, it was down to five
people, and everyone was at each other’s’ throats. I got a text message from
Stephen telling me that he never stopped being my friend, but he had to do what
he to do handle his business. My whole thing with it is I understand you have
to be a drill sergeant to make sure we got everything we needed; however, as a
friend, he should have encouraged, motivated, and ask me how I was doing when
everything was said and done. So, I know you are wondering if I was pissed off.
Hell Yes! This nigga was supposed to be there for me more ways than one, but he
left me out to dry. So at this point, our friendship was rocky. I wanted to
tell him a piece of my mind when everything was said and done. But back to the
message. He also mentioned to me that everything that will go on tonight will
have a meaning behind it, and you will have to tough it out and do what
everyone tells you to do! What the hell were they going to have us doing that
makes this night so damn special? I grabbed my things and went to class. As I
was walking down the strip to go into the building, I did notice a lot of
things going on in my surroundings. Everyone was smirking, laughing, and I
heard some of the other people on campus whispering and looking at me. I didn’t
think anything of it because I knew with the positions I wanted to run for they
probably heard about all of the good things that I did on the campus behalf. I
walked into the classroom, and there goes Stephen sitting on the opposite end
of the classroom. He would not look my way, speak to me, or even throw a
signal. I understand we could not really hang out at the moment, but he did at
least sit beside me, and make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Class started and I noticed that he was texting the entire time that the
professor was lecturing. Class ended, and he quickly got up and ran out of the
classroom before I could even approach him. He left his phone on the desk, and
I picked it up, and was about to take it to him. His phone buzzed, it was
unlocked, and it had a text message with the name “Drill it in Em”. Stephen had
been acting weird all day, and I did not know what was going on in his mind. I
was wondering if someone was bothering him, picking with him, or telling him
things that makes him question my loyalty to him. So I opened the message. The
message was talking about it is on and popping for tonight. We are about to
make an example out of some people, and that they will never embarrass us or
make us look bad again. Stephen pops up in the classroom and I told him that
you dropped your phone. He snatches it from me, and he walks off upset! This
was some strange shit, and it bothered me for the rest of the day. So the night
hits once again, and my mind is boggled at the fact that he was acting strange
towards me of all people. I grabbed my things, and I met up with the other
guys. They were already there talking, and when I came into the room they were
silent. I spoke. No one said a thing. So we get prepared to go into the room.
They told us to sit down and relax. They poured us alcohol, and that they just
wanted to get to know us. At first we were hesitant to do anything being that
it has been weeks and all they wanted to do was torture us for everything!
Eventually we did drink. As the drinks started to flow, everyone let their
guard down. The only thing though was I know you are supposed to feel a
tingling sensation when you are drinking alcohol but I did notice that we all
were not in our right mind. We were talking for a good hour until we heard a
door open. As the door opened, we see a group of twelve other guys walk in with
a bag. They all were laughing, looking around, and they took something out of
the bag. They told us to stand up, and take a deep breath. I saw a glimpse of
Stephen in the background laughing hysterically as if he set up the perfect
plan. They were all surrounding us, licking their lips, and walking behind us.
I knew this would not go as well as the night went on. Three of the guys walked
up to one of my brothers and told him, I hear you like it really slow. My
facial expression is like what the fuck is going on in here? Is this normal?
Why are they doing this? So he continues to grope behind him, and he was
already drunk so he gave in. They started kissing. I am in just awe, and I
could not deal with the things I am seeing right now. I am drunk but not to the
point where I don’t know what the hell is going on in this room. They take him
to the back room and left the rest of us in the living room. They tell the
other three that they need to strip down, and if they wanted to be in this
circle, they had to touch each other, and do everything they told them to do.
It was like some sadistic, crazy, psychopathic shit going on in this house. All
I could do was just sit and wonder what I got myself into. Then Stephen walks
in looking all upset and mad. I told you all I could get him to do it. Now he
is in our neck of the woods now. There’s no one to help the school’s golden
child. He did not look at me the same. Just when I thought I had a friend that
understood me, I get hurt once again. He then proceeds to tell me that he lured
me in to get to know me, bring me around the circle, get me to join his
organization, and to sabotage my career unless I was willing to do a favor. He
told me in order to keep my dignity and respect that I had to sleep with everyone
in the room that night including the people that was going through this
experience with me. I did not think that Stephen would ever do something like
that because he was considered the one who did everyone right and by the book!
Then it dawned on me with everything that was going on. He had put all of my
business on Front Street in front of the entire campus, and everyone kept
looking at me crazy. He took everything
I ever told him, and used it against my will without me evening knowing what
was going on. I politely got my things and told him that he could go fuck
himself if he thinks I am about to do this gay shit just to keep my dignity in
check. I am not down with that shit! I do not have a problem with the
homosexual lifestyle; however, this is just something I would never allow
myself to do! I left the house, and got in my car. As I took the uber down the
street back to campus, all I could do was just cry. All I ever wanted to do was
leave the life that I had behind me at home, and start over. I never understood
why people could be so harsh in the world. It made me angry, it made me
depressed, it made me emotional, and it definitely made me rethink ever coming
to this school. When I got back to the room, I got a text message from Stephen
saying, if you tell anyone, your career is over. You might as well pack your
bags and go the fuck home! I promise you, you don’t want these problems. In the
back of my head, I wanted to blast them for what they were doing to those boys.
They don’t even know what was going on because they were drugged through
consuming those large amounts of alcohol. I am pretty sure that they would wake
up the next day not remembering a damn thing that happened. I took a shower,
and I went to bed confused. As I laid in the bed, I continued to have those
flashbacks about everything that went on in the house that night. And the fact
that I was put in a fucked up situation like that really let me know I couldn’t
trust people. I went from sad to pissed off instantly. I knew that something had
to happen. They had to go down, but how? That’s when it clicked that the
janitor was trying to warn me about everything. But I wonder what else he knows
about these motherfuckers here on campus!
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